When you want to wish someone a happy birthday, adding humor can make it even more special. Whether you’re writing a card, sending a text, or posting on social media, funny birthday wishes will make you smile on their big day.
Want to make your favorite people laugh? Check out these funny birthday wishes for great ideas.
Related: 116 Unique Happy Birthday Wishes for Your Daughter
Short, Famous, Belated, Classic, Rude, and Best Birthday Wishes For All Your Favorite People
Short Funny Happy Birthday Wishes for Everyone
- “Happy birthday to a classic!”
- “In dog years…let’s not go there.”
- “Cheers to you, birthday star!”
- “Happy birthday! You were so young once.”
- “Happy birthday! Age? What age?”
- “If a jellyfish stung you, I’d pee on you.”
- “Happy Day of Escape from the Womb!”
- “Older? Yes. Wiser? Debatable.”
- “Smart, good-looking, funny…oh wait, that’s me. Happy birthday!”
- “Happy birthday! Gray hairs are wisdom highlights.”
- “What goes up but never comes down? Your age.”
- “Have a GRATE birthday! (Hope that’s not too CHEESY.)”
- “You’re not old, you’re a classic.”
- “Happy birthday, old friend. Tell me about the 1900s again.”
- “Happy one year closer to retirement!”
- “It’s proven: more birthdays = longer life.”
- “You’re not old, just aged to perfection.”
- “Congrats on being born ages ago.”
- “You aren’t old, you’re a classic!”
- “What goes up but never comes down? Your age.”
- “Like an iPhone, you upgrade each year!”
- “Let them eat cake. And by them, I mean you!”
- “Birthdays are like vacations: rare and fleeting.”
- “Happy Womb Emigration Day!”
- “Congrats on the level-up!”
- “In banana years, you’re ripe enough for bread!”
- “Happy National [Name] Day!”
- “Happy birthday and keep getting older!”
- “We’re both getting old, but who’s counting?”
- “Have a drink for me on your birthday! Or two…or four!”
Famous Funny Birthday Quotes
- “You realize you’re one when history books feature your memories.” —Will Ferrell
- “Middle age: still believing tomorrow holds better feelings.” —Bob Hope
- “Fifty looks fabulous—when you’re sixty!” —Joan Rivers
- “Candles in cake: celebration. Candles in pie: someone’s tipsy.” —Jim Gaffigan
- “One candle on the cake: ‘Challenge accepted!'” —Jerry Seinfeld
- “Boast about your age, don’t conceal it.” —Will Rogers
- “Stay young: be honest, eat slow, fib about age.” —Lucille Ball
- “Birthdays remain incurable.” —John Glenn
- “Men take a day for birthdays; women take years.” —Joan Rivers
Funny Belated Birthday Messages
- “Missing your birthday was unforgettable!”
- “Consider this card early for next year, not late.”
- “Happy Belated Birthday! Aging makes memory lapses understandable.”
- “Yesterday’s wishes fade; today’s are all about you!”
- “This card is fashionably late, making your birthday last longer!”
- “Sorry for missing your youth’s farewell. Happy Belated Birthday!”
- “Now that others’ wishes have faded, here’s mine!”
- “I wanted your birthday to linger, hence the delay.”
- “I’m sorry for the belated wishes. Here’s to your longevity!”
- “Friends never forget, just remember slowly.”
- “This is your 2015 card, fashionably late!”
- “Apologies for missing your birthday! Won’t happen again… this year.”
- “Better late than never! Happy Late Birthday!”
- “I sent my wishes late to stand out.”
- “Belated wishes packed with love slowed down!”
- “I forgot, but at least I remembered that!”
- “I may forget birthdays, but you never age!”
- “Late wishes mean more cake for you—no thanks needed!”
Funny Belated Birthday Messages
- “I’m sorry for the belated wishes. Here’s to your longevity!”
- “Friends never forget, just remember slowly.”
- “This is your 2015 card, fashionably late!”
- “Apologies for missing your birthday! Won’t happen again… this year.”
- “Better late than never! Happy Late Birthday!”
- “I sent my wishes late to stand out.”
- “Belated wishes packed with love slowed down!”
- “I forgot, but at least I remembered that!”
- “I may forget birthdays, but you never age!”
- “Late wishes mean more cake for you—no thanks needed!”
- “Sorry for missing your youth’s farewell. Happy Belated Birthday!”
- “Now that others’ wishes have faded, here’s mine!”
- “I wanted your birthday to linger, hence the delay.”
- “Happy Belated Birthday! Aging makes memory lapses understandable.”
- “Yesterday’s wishes fade; today’s are all about you!”
- “Missing your birthday was un-forgettable!”
Classic Funny Happy Birthday Wishes
- “Forget the past and future. Forget the present—I got you nothing.”
- “Set sky-high goals today and spend the year building your rocket!”
- “Happy birthday! You’re the only one I’d save from zombies.”
- “If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!”
- “Smart, good-looking, funny—but enough about me. Happy birthday!”
- “People with more birthdays live longer. It’s science!”
- “Congrats on getting a bit older!”
- “Well done on surviving another year!”
Funny Rude Birthday Messages
- “Happy birthday! Let’s celebrate the monumental day you first cried naked in someone else’s bed…”
- “Birthdays are like bogeys. The more you accumulate, the harder it gets to breathe!”
- “Some say age is just a number. Well, you’re certainly getting on in years. Happy birthday anyway!”
- “Happy birthday! Congrats on reaching the age where you understand the horror of waking up to your own fart!”
- “You might be old, but you’re still a legend.”
- “Have a mucking marvelous birthday!”
- “Some things improve with age. Shame you’re not one of them.”
Best Funny Happy Birthday Wishes
- “Let’s get this party started! But seriously, let’s hurry – we both know you can’t stay up past 10 p.m.”
- “Happy Easter. Christmas. Independence Day. You know what? Just eat your darn cake!”
- “Happy birthday! Age is just a number, but wrinkles are the real estate of wisdom!”
- “Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday!”
- “Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit. Just check it for wrinkles first!”
- “Age is a state of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!”
- “Happy birthday! You’re not aging; you’re leveling up with more ‘wisdom’ and fewer ‘teeth.'”
- “They say with age comes wisdom. At this rate, you’re practically Socrates!”
Funny Birthday Wishes for Best Friend
- “I can’t decide if life is speeding past us or aiming to run us down. Happy birthday!”
- “May your social media overflow with birthday wishes from strangers, long-lost acquaintances, and those who couldn’t care less.”
- “Happy birthday! Can you believe we once thought people our age had it all figured out?”
- “If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas. Happy birthday!”
- “Everyone gets a taste of youth. Today, officially, it’s your turn to reminisce.”
- “You don’t look a day over 16! Well, from a distance, with my eyes closed. Happy birthday!”
- “I can’t decide if life is rushing past us or trying to run us over. HBD, friend!”
- “In dog years, you’d be long gone. Happy birthday to man’s best friend!”
- “Happy birthday, bestie! Here’s to a long life together, so we can be 100 and still gossiping like teens.”
- “How do two pickle friends celebrate each other? They relish their birthdays.”
Funny Birthday Wishes for Family
- “Age is just a number! If you don’t mind, it doesn’t count!”
- “The worst part of growing old? Kids giving advice.”
- “May your cake be moist, and may no one call it that!”
- “Happy anniversary of escaping Mom’s womb!”
- “Glad you were born! Life’s dull without you.”
- “Remembered your birthday without Facebook! Go me!”
- “Happy birthday, favorite child of mine.”
- “Happy birthday, Mom/Dad! Thanks for the good looks.”
Related: Heartfelt Birthday Wishes for Your Sister That’ll Make Her Happy
Funny Birthday Wishes for Sister or Brother
- “Happy birthday! You’re not just my sister; you’re my partner in crime, co-conspirator, and reason for our parents’ gray hair.”
- “Happy Birthday! Would’ve bought a gift, but it’s above my sibling pay grade.”
- “Older? Definitely. Wiser? Debatable. Happy Birthday!”
- “Happy birthday to the best sibling. Grateful you make me seem normal!”
- “Loving you is easy as cake. Now, let’s eat yours!”
- “Happy Birthday! Thanks for paving the way as the older sibling and making me look good!”
Funny Birthday Wishes for Her
- Another year under your belt! Let me know the age we’re claiming now. Happy Birthday!
- Happy birthday to a woman who amazes me endlessly. Some days, your brilliance knows no bounds. Other days, you misplace your keys in the fridge. You’re unbelievable!
- Happy birthday! Stay golden, girl!
- Happy birthday to my lifelong friend! Can’t wait to terrorize senior home nurses together!
- On your birthday, let me share a secret: One moment, you’re young and fun. The next, you have a favorite stove burner. We both know which you are… Happy birthday!
- It’s your party; cry if you want to. But I suggest not—it’ll ruin your makeup, and we’re taking lots of pictures tonight. Happy birthday!
- A quick reminder: Well-behaved women rarely make history. Let’s go crazier this year! Happy birthday!
- Some call it grounds for a stint in a mental hospital; we call it your special sparkle. Happy birthday!
- Back in Salem 1692, you’d be deemed a witch. And so would I. It’s why we click. Happy birthday, witchy!
- I hope to be as great as you one day, with obviously better clothes. Happy birthday!
- Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions! Happy birthday, queen!
- A friend like you is like a good bra—supportive, hard to find, and always on my last nerve. Can’t live without ‘em. Happy birthday!
- A lady never reveals her age. Happy birthday, lady!
- Good thing I found you! Let’s be honest, you couldn’t find glasses on your face, girly. Happy birthday!
- Happy Birthday from one fabulous gal to another!
- Remember when Snooki said, “Party’s here!” at the Jersey Shore house? Don’t party like that night, but have a happy birthday!
Related: 100 Heartfelt Ways to Say Happy Birthday
Funny Birthday Wishes for Him
- Another year together has come and gone. What would I do without you? Not open jars, that’s for sure. Happy birthday, man!
- On your birthday, here’s some wisdom: Keep smiling while you still have teeth! Happy birthday, old-timer!
- Happy birthday! It’s a big one! (That’s what she said… maybe.)
- Thanks for being such a great guy! Happy birthday.
- It’s your special day! Treat yourself! (But also me.) Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday to a guy who still isn’t showing his age…and definitely not acting it.
- It’s your birthday! One year closer to being that guy who yells at kids “Get off my lawn!” Everyone loves that guy!
- In whiskey years, you just got more delicious.
- Happy birthday, Dude! Congrats on getting closer to a senior citizen discount at the movies and better parking spots.
- Turns out the right drink makes your day a lot more fun. Happy birthday, bro!
- Roses are red, skateboards are sick, happy birthday to ya, you big prick.
- Birthdays are like golf… more fun if you don’t keep count. Happy birthday!
- I would’ve made you a funny card, but at your age, bladder control can be a problem… Happy Birthday!
- How to fart like a man: 1) Pass gas 2) Pass the blame. Happy birthday, bro!